Power of the Middle Ground: A Couples Guide to Renewing Your Relationship
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- By Marty Babits, LCSW, BCD.
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Seven Guidelines for Safeguarding the Middle Ground (part 1)
Book Format: Choose an option. Get In-Stock Alert. Product Highlights Book annotation not available for this title. Book annotation not available for this title. Patience within a specific talk and in the pacing of your dialogue overall can make a critical difference to relationship healing.
Patience and humility blended together compose emotional stamina, which is fundamental to the creation of a secure long-term love relationship. Think about what your partner says in terms of who your partner is. You need to develop a "relationship" perspective that features a good grasp of how the situation is understood by your partner as well as by yourself. Remember -- understanding how your partner feels from within his or her purview does not mean you are acknowledging that this perspective is correct. You are not surrendering your point of view.
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You are simply acknowledging that it is not the only legitimate point of view. Time-out signal -- have it in place; use it as needed.
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Using time-outs can allow you a sense of control in the pacing of your dialogue. Without a pre-arranged signal to allow a safe method for temporarily suspending the dialogue, restarting it will be more difficult. Using time-outs does not mean that difficult issues go unaddressed.
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It does mean that partners have to work as a team to keep the flow of conversation going -- not simply within a single talk but between talks as well. Carve a niche in your relationship that honors this dimension of awareness and sensitivity.
https://lauprivquocasu.ga Can these seven guidelines help save a floundering relationship? The short answer is yes. Do not blurt responses. Monitor your thoughts while speaking with your partner.
There is always more than one way to say something, choose according to the effect you want your remark to have. Do not blurt the first thing that comes to mind at your partner. No name calling.
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If you are disgusted with something that is going on and call your mate something mean, the communication flow stops. And turning it back on becomes more and more difficult, in proportion to the amount of name-calling that goes on. When thinking before speaking, edit out the put-downs. Basic as the guidelines may seem, under stress, sticking to them is a challenge for us all.
Speak honestly and judiciously. The abiding ways that you feel — positive and negative — need to be represented in your dialogue with your partner. Keeping dominant thoughts and feelings buried will not further the relationship. But pay close attention to how you share information. Notice for signs that your partner is getting flooded.